Tip #1

I had a coworker try to pull seniority on me and yell at me in front of a patient. She told me, well actually screamed at me, to go to lunch because she was in charge. (what does her years of experience have to do with my lunch time?!)

I looked at her and said thank you. And I went and got the next patient. That's it. No need to be nasty like she was. No need to get upset. But there was a need to let her know (in a polite way if you can!) that I wasn't responding to that kind of treatment.

She never brought it up again. She never talked to me like that again.

These hospital bullies keep pushing because they think they can get away with it. The second you make it clear they can't (not by blowing up, not by matching their energy, just by not flinching!) they move on. 👋

Now, that doesn't always work. I've been in situations where I did everything right. I was professional, I set limits, I sent the emails, I had the conversations.. and it still didn't change. So I took myself out of the situation. Sometimes you do have to look in the mirror and ask yourself "is a job at this hospital worth putting myself in an unhealthy environment for the foreseeable future?!"

Because here's the thing. When you leave, that bully is still going to be there. Still miserable. Still projecting their stuff onto whoever walks through the door next. And you?

You're going to be somewhere better, living a life you actually want. It may seem scary at first but I assure you, there is greener grass out there! I have tons of resources on making the transition into a new place easier inside of the Healthy in Healthcare community.

Tip #2
Harry Potter fans, where ya at?! Dumbledore said: "Happiness can be found even in the darkest places, if only one remembers to turn on the light." (are you a true potterhead if that line doesn't give you chills?!)

Picture a pitch black room. Put one candle in the middle of it. You're going to see light. Doesn't matter how dark the room is.

You are that candle. And when you keep showing up that way, you're going to light someone else up too. Now there are two candles. The room is twice as bright. Brightness always wins.

That's not me telling you to be a pushover. There's a difference between being kind and being a doormat. You can be a light and still hold your ground. In fact, doing both is exactly what changes the culture.

If you are the bully of your department while simultaneously complaining about how healthcare needs to change? You need to go look in the mirror. You are the problem you're complaining about.

But if you're reading this, that's probably not you. You're the one dealing with that person. And I just want you to know, you don't have to stay stuck in it forever! You get to decide how long it's worth it.

Healthcare is changing. Slowly. But the people actually doing the work are starting to speak up. And I've never been more proud to be part of that. 💗